How to TALK to your partner about SAFER SEX
Whether you choose to have sex or not, it is important to be able to talk about sex. It can be uncomfortable to have direct conversations about sex, but it does get easier if you are confident about your facts. Bottom line: When it comes to sex, good communication is important, with friends, health care providers, parents/family, and your boyfriend or girlfriend.

If a couple is going to have sex, it's important for them to talk things over first. They need to discuss topics like their sexual boundaries and contraception so they can protect themselves against pregnancy and STDs. It's important that couples ask each other about STDs. But remember, since others can't always be counted on to be honest about their STD status - especially because they may not even know they have one - using condoms for protection - always - is very important.

Of course, if you have an STD, it's good to be honest. Not only will it help you take the right precautions to protect your health and your partner's health - by either abstaining from intercourse until an outbreak is over or practicing safer sex - it also shows your partner that you care for and respect him or her. Chances are, your partner will appreciate your truthfulness, and such honesty may even strengthen the emotional bond between you.

• Choose a time and place that's relaxed and comfortable before you get intimate (ideally that means before you take your clothes off!).
• Be sure to arm yourself with facts so that you can answer any questions your partner may have. You might want to start the conversation on a positive note - for example, by telling your partner that you really care for him or her and that's why you want to discuss something important. If part of what you want to tell your partner is about an STD you have, you might say that last year, you found out you carry HPV, or that you just learned that you have chlamydia and you want him or her to get checked out. If you have genital herpes, you might explain that you sometimes get sores in the genital area.

Keep it simple and just give the facts about symptoms, treatment, how the disease is spread, and how you can protect each other. This is a difficult conversation that will likely stir up a lot of emotions, but try to think of this as simply sharing vital information.

Then give your partner some time and space to digest the news. After all, it probably took you a while when you first heard. Offer to provide more information or an STD hotline number. With time, most people take the news pretty well and don't let it stand in the way of the relationship (and if they don't take it well, it's better to find out before the relationship goes too far.) With everything that's been learned in recent years about STDs and their transmission, it's entirely possible for people with an STD to have a satisfying sex life without passing infection to their partners.